“Nothing I accept about myself can be usedAudre Lorde
against me to diminish me.”
The quote above was borrowed/reposted from a blog entry by one of my favorite people on Earth, Karen C.L. Anderson (http://kclanderson.com), a Phenomenal Woman (in the Maya Angelou sense), a Writer, Storyteller and Unconventional Advice Columnist, whose wisdom around mothers, daughters, relationships and self-knowledge is quite frankly, amazing.
She writes about the power of her self-image – the idea that her mother (or others) might think that she was selfish, spoiled, a liar, a sneak and someone who takes the “easy way out.” Not easy words to apply to yourself, not easy to think that someone whose opinion matters to you would think those things about you.
In the first couple of paragraphs, though, Karen takes a brave and GROWN stance – yes, she’s been all of those things at various points in her life. Yes, she’s been selfish, spoiled, a liar, a sneak and someone who takes the easy way out. Check, Check and Check (as Karen writes).
Here’s where Awareness + Acceptance = Strength equation comes in: once Karen accepted those things about herself, it was impossible for anyone – her mother included – to use those things against her. Those words can no longer diminish her, make her feel or play small, or make her accept judgment and manipulation from others because of them.
My question to you, Diva-In-Training:
What do YOU need to be Aware of and Accept about yourself?Dianne M. Daniels
Awareness and Acceptance of aspects of your Authentic self does NOT mean you can use those parts you’ve suppressed or hidden out of shame (quoting Karen again) to be a snarky, arrogant jerk to others. It’s not a declaration that you have “zero fucks to give.”
What it CAN do for you is to empower you to – as Karen’s friend Christie Inge says – use those parts consciously, gathering their energy and then directing and wielding that energy for good.
On your journey toward becoming your most Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic self – your DivaStyle self – what do you need to be aware of and accept? For me, it was that my voice can be loud – in more than just volume. I am blessed to have a voice that some people hear and pay attention to. I’ve been told I have a presence. For a woman who used to be a shy little girl, that was hard to wrap my head around. I didn’t want to stand out and be noticed – that was a consequence of my low self-esteem and self-confidence.
Now? I’m happy to stand out, be noticed, get loud and display my full-out DivaStyle self – even as that self is still growing, changing, getting stronger and living into who I truly want to be known as. Don’t let the naysayers and manipulators – even if they are part of your family or circle of friends – stop you from becoming who YOU want to be, in all your Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic glory.
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