You alone are responsible for how long you let what hurt you haunt you and hold you back from living your DivaStyle life.
Hanging on to what hurt you is a counterproductive way of thinking, living and being – and even though we know that, it’s still easy to fall (or stay) into a pattern of letting what hurt you continue to take up space in your mind and heart.
Have you ever made a mistake? It’s not likely that you went as far in your life as you have without making any mistakes. Most people (if not all) make them. Also, they will continue to make them. It’s just part of the human experience.
Sometimes, your mistakes can put you in difficult positions. The mistake of hanging on to old (or current) hurts is one of those kind of mistakes. For instance, suppose you attend a networking event and you overhear someone speaking ill about you either personally or professionally.
I’m betting that your first instinct, after hearing the negative statements, is to be taken aback. Who is the person speaking? What interactions are they talking about that made them have such a negative impression of you? Do you even recall the interaction or the circumstances behind it?
When you’ve invested your precious time and a lot of blood, sweat and tears into working toward and building your Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic life – your DIVAStyle Life – it can really hurt to hear negative statements. It feels really PERSONAL, because it IS, and it hurts.
Believing in yourself is one of the best counters to “casual” hurts – because if you believe in yourself, there’s very little that can stop you in accomplishing your goals and dreams. The strength of your self-belief – the knowledge that you ARE that DIVA, and deservedly so, helps you handle any roadblocks that come your way.
The person speaking may not have even known they made a mistake – they could be repeating something they heard elsewhere, and while that doesn’t make it right, it’s slightly more understandable. Your first reaction may be to confront the person – unleashing your righteous anger and indignation upon them and defending your reputation. In some cases, you would be justified in doing so.
However, consider this: did the person have the necessary personal knowledge and / or experience of you to prevent him or her from misinforming others? If not, you might want to consider that regarding the situation.
If someone deliberately took spoke ill of you with malicious intent, you are within your right to confront the situation and the person. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. Belief in yourself and what you’re doing, and that’s the energy you need to take action. It helps you to focus on standing strong, living your truth, and completing the tasks you have laid out to accomplish your goals.
It is easy to lash out at the person responsible. Of course, you should give them the opportunity to rectify what they said if they can, including admitting that what they said (or repeated) isn’t true at all. Depending on the type of confrontation and the level of emotion involved, however, some people will resist admitting this.
When that happens, you’ve got a choice to make: in the moment, you can re-assert that what was said was incorrect and inaccurate, stand your ground, and employ your confidence and self-belief to help you hold steady.
Your confidence will attract others instead of repelling them – unlike the gossip who repeats negative information, who will eventually be shunned by people of good conscience. When people like that are trying to beat you down, you can tap into your assertiveness, and recall your goals and your purpose. Re-center yourself as to who you are and why you are on your journey in the first place. Recall the affirmations you’ve used to help reinforce your message and your intention, and pull your principles and your purpose to the top of your mind.
Once you’ve renewed your principles and your purpose, the next thing you must do is to let go of the hurt that you felt. That doesn’t mean it was invalid, just that if you hold onto it, it gains weight and importance in your mind. Holding on to past hurts encourages resentment, which can act like a ball-and-chain and slow down or completely stop you on your progress on your journey to becoming your most Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic self.
Recall all the positive changes you’ve made – changes that help keep your mind sharp, your spirit energized, and help you expand your knowledge and your skills. Each positive change you’ve made sparks new passions and even more opportunities to make progress toward your DivaStyle life.
Don’t let a temporary hurt feeling hang on too long and slow you down. You’ve got to be ready to grab hold of opportunities and not miss them while wallowing in negative emotions. You’ve heard me say it before – Baby Steps forward are still Steps Forward, and you only lose if you stop moving.
Take those small, sure steps – the pace of your journey is decided by YOU and no-one else. Remember that one of the tools you have at your disposal are Affirmations. Using affirmations allows you to change your life one thought at a time – replacing your negative thoughts and attitudes with positive ones that will move you forward and enable your success.
Release the hurt and the pain and MOVE ON – your DivaStyle life is ready and waiting for you!