"The emotion called Jealousy – also referred to as the Green-Eyed Monster – can be a part of anyone’s life – we’re all susceptible to the lack of trust that helps to define it. Take a listen to the audio below and take note of the tips on how to rein in (and rise above) your jealousy.."
"Real, true love feels good and uplifting - not jealous, not anxious - and it doesn't compromise who you are as a person." - Madisyn Taylor, Daily OM
Everyone has the potential to be jealous. Some people will experience small bouts of it while it will become an obsession with others. The small incidents are usually not reasons to worry about, and you can probably just pass them off. It’s when you start to become obsessive that you may want to look into ways to reduce it.
So take a good hard look at why you are mistrustful of people - specific people, or people in general. Have they done something bad in the past that violated your trust? If they want to make amends, and you cannot overcome your feelings of jealousy, this is going to be a roadblock in your relationship.
What was the motivation behind that violation of trust? Sometimes, it can be a simple matter of miscommunication. It doesn’t necessarily excuse their behavior, but it can at least give you some talking points.
As far as talking, it is a good idea to talk things out, rather than let them build inside of you. If you let them build, the feelings will only get worse, and you could be setting yourself up for a blow-up. When this happens, you won’t be able to take it back, and you can be damaging your relationships. Talking can help you get to a point where you can try to come up with a solution.
Some jealous people overact even when others haven’t violated any trust. If this is something you are guilty of doing, the lack of trust can actually be within you. If you have wronged others, you may hold the belief that no one can be trusted because you cannot be trusted.
This is something you will need to come to grips with. You may need to take action to make yourself trustworthy to others. Only then will you stop thinking that people are going to wrong you just because you have wronged others.
It takes some time to break the habit of jealousy. But, that is all that it is, a habit. That means it takes some practice and you need to be consistent with your actions.
Sometimes, it can help to simply reinforce a certain message in your brain, what many refer to as an affirmation. This can be as simple as, “I will be trusting today.” Do this over and over for several months and you will likely find you have reduced your need to express jealousy.