Self-Compassion Series: Self-Compassion Is the Same as Self-Acceptance

By Dianne M. Daniels | attitude

You’ve decided you want to live a DivaStyle Life – GREAT!!! You decided to live your life in the most Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic way possible…right?

In order to be successful on this journey, you also need to accept who you are and be happy with that person – even as you plan for positive growth and change. If you are constantly beating yourself up about trivial things, you will never accept yourself. While there are occasions where you need to be self-critical, most of the time you should focus on being happy.

There was a book written several years called, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. The idea behind the book is people are constantly confronted with minor challenges they have to deal with. If we let the “small stuff” get to us – knock us off our “game plan” and upset our intended balance, how can we be prepared for the more important and bigger items?

One great avenue to follow toward self-acceptance is to celebrate your strengths. Everyone has strengths. Perhaps you’re good at diffusing tense situations. You’re probably not fond of having to do this, but most people come to you because of your talent at it. What other things are you good at? Taking note of these things – even making a list so you can see it periodically – can help you to move toward self-acceptance.

Sometimes, you also need to accept what you’re not good at. Despite all your efforts, there are going to be situations or skills that you simply don’t grasp. It may be that your personality doesn’t allow you to be good at it – for example, there are many people who are not good at negotiation. No matter how much they practice, they simply don’t have the disposition for it, and that’s okay. If you need to participate in negotiations, find people who excel at that skill. The key is to recognize when you are not good at something, and that isn’t always easy.

You should also accept that you are not perfect – none of us are. This is a big acceptance for many people. We hear the phrase, nobody’s perfect, but, people don’t readily accept it. This doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be lazy and not try to accomplish positive things because you pass yourself off as not being perfect. People – you and I – should always strive to do better. Just know that it will take time and always give it your best effort. No one can ask for more than that.

Acceptance does not mean settling. Don’t let others bully you into believing that you don’t have certain capabilities. You know what you are capable of, and you alone should make that determination. Sometimes, the fact that others don’t believe in you  – and they make it known – can be a strong motivating force in making something positive happen.

You’re determined to prove them wrong, and that’s part of what fuels your effort. Be vigilant however, and don’t let anyone put you down to the point where you don’t even try. If you do, then they will win – and that’s not going to get you closer to living your DivaStyle Life.

When you keep moving in a positive direction, no matter how slowly YOU think you’re going. Baby steps forward are still steps forward.

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