Self-Compassion Series: You Are a Person Too!

By Dianne M. Daniels | attitude

It’s a bit of a strange title for an article, isn’t it? Yes, you are a person, of course. But since you ARE a person, why can’t you treat yourself the way you treat others? Of course, the assumption here is that you treat others well, and if you don’t, you definitely need to work on that.

If you do treat others well, why are they more deserving of that treatment than you are? You can’t authentically treat people well if you are not treating yourself the same way — well. You may be able to pretend for a little while, but as people get to know you better, they will see the disconnect between how you treat yourself and the way you treat others. 

Make an effort to be that person worthy of your own self-compassion. It will make you a better person, which in turn, will give you the tools needed to be that way for others. It will be honest and authentic, and other people will pick up on that.

Treating yourself well can be about stepping outside your comfort zone, especially if you’ve not exercised compassion for yourself in the past. It may feel strange initially when you make the change, and you may feel like you don’t deserve it, but you do – please hear me – YOU DESERVE IT.

This is not to say that you should be cocky about yourself. This is entirely the wrong direction to take. It’s great to start to love yourself, but if you become obsessed, you lose focus and others will pick up on that as well. The idea is to strike a balance between self-compassion and humility. Try not to get a big head about yourself.

Try to find inspiration for your self-compassion from others who may have experienced the same emotions. You’ll instinctively know who these people are – because you’ll find that others always want to be around them. This brings up an interesting point, and an additional benefit of treating yourself well – when you start to take on that trait, you too will likely notice an increase in people wanting to be with you. While this is a good situation, you’ll need to prepare yourself for it, as it will take some getting used to, especially if you’re not used to treating yourself well and the positive energy you’ll start to give off when you do this.

When you find others who seem to have self-compassion, pay attention to how they behave. What kinds of words do they use? Are they always helping others and cheerful? Chances are good they are.

Inside, they are reaffirming a healthy level of compassion for themselves, and it will come through in their passion for others. In the end, everyone benefits when you have a great feeling about yourself, and as another additional benefit, exercising self-compassion helps you to create and manifest that Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic life – that DivaStyle life you deserve.

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