We tend to hang on to the familiar, even if there is pain involved in doing so – better “the devil you know,” right? This can keep us involved with unhealthy situations for too long – sometimes, for the benefit of who we are becoming and the ability to recover from where we USED to be, we need to learn how to let go.
It could be a personal relationship – or the aftermath of one – that is holding you back. You feel guilty in severing ties with the person or people involved because you were in the situation for a long time. This could refer to a lover, a friend, or even family members. These people become dependent on you in ways that prevent you from living the life you truly want. Clearly, this is not ideal, and it’s unsustainable for someone working to create and manifest a DivaStyle life.
It can be a situation with work as well. Either the people you work with or the company itself is holding you back. You stick with it because you believe it’s the only option you have, even if it is making you miserable.
If you need concrete reasons to let go of situations or people who are holding you back, write out a list of pros and cons about the situations. If you find the number of cons – reasons to let go – are greater than the pros – reasons to hang on – this should be enough to convince you it’s time for a change.
Change is a difficult concept for many, if not most of us to handle. It’s the one aspect of life that will always be there, so why not embrace it for the better? It brings to mind the saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
One example of a situation that people can have a difficult time removing themselves from is when you’re involved in hiring friends for your current employer, or for your business. There are certain expectations that the friend may have regarding your working relationship which can make the situation awkward.
If you’re the person who directly supervises and manages the friend, you may need to take actions that are likely to affect the friendship. This is why employment experts discourage the practice. It’s usually not a good idea to hire friends or to even go into business with them. The friendships are at risk under these circumstances, and blurred lines between the roles of business professionals and friends can make “takiing care of business” very difficult. Boundaries can be crossed and this can become hurtful, even destructive for one or both parties.
Letting go in difficult situations is never easy, but it can be an incredibly freeing experience. It gives you the ability to start living life on your terms – living your life DivaStyle by making sure that boundaries are clear and not crossed casually. Letting an employee or business associate go may not be a popular decision and in some cases (as with family) you won’t be able to break completely away.
The situation can be made easier, but only if you can maintain professionalism and not let the personal relationship affect your behavior. Keeping the separation and being true to your principles – acting authentically – can help you resolve challenges, keep the lines clear, and ultimately achieve the happiness you desire.
By taking appropriate actions, you will often find the people who were dependent on you actually become happier themselves through your actions because the expectations are clear from the beginning and there’s much less room for misunderstanding.