“Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving - we get stronger and better able to
Thrive Through Challenges”
Dianne M. Daniels
When you’re making the decision to create and manifest a different life than the one you’re currently living, you’ve also got to include several factors – there are aspects of your life that you’ll need to change, and there’s a specific skill set you’ll need to develop in order for those changes to “stick” and for you to be successful.
You can completely change the way you react to “negative” circumstances – challenges don’t have to be completely negative, inducing fear and stress. They can be the driving force toward helping you to redesign your life, your image and the way the world sees you – and while some people might consider that a negative situation, it’s an opportunity to grow and excel and to take charge of your self-definition..
Tip 1: Understanding Challenge, Building Strength,
and Practicing Skills
Women especially are given the message by modern media and society that we just aren’t “enough” the way that we are:
- We’re resistant to change – or we’re wimpy and willing to change too easily
- We’re too emotional, unable to handle strong or difficult emotions – or we’re cold and standoffish, and seem “remote”
- We’re unwilling to take action, preferring to be “in the background” – or we’re too strong, taking responsibility for our lives and moving forward with clarity and power
- We don’t have good support systems and communities, preferring instead to resort to “catty” behavior that tears others down – or we’re not critical enough and don’t “correct” ourselves and fix negative patterns quickly enough
- We’re not physically strong enough to take care of ourselves – or we’re “crossing the line” by working to maximize our fitness and strength, and refusing to accept “traditional” definitions of feminine appeal and physical beauty
- We can’t handle challenges and don’t know how to bounce back – or we’re “ball busters” that welcome challenges as learning opportunities that build our level of confidence and help us be more assertive
Throughout the process of life, we need to develop skills that help us stand tall and be secure during our individual journeys. We MUST be able to move forward by growing through every part of life’s process, and we must also acknowledge that WE can change that process. If you’re not changing and growing, you’re sitting in the same spot, and you’ll either be run over, or left behind, and neither is an option for a woman who wants to create and maintain a DivaStyle life.
How we react to challenges and struggles can either tear us down, or build us up. It can be easier to let difficulties keep us down, than for us to put shoulder to the wheel and work to stay afloat – whatever that looks like for you.
When we tap into and develop inner strength and employ it throughout our lives, we are experiencing and growing into a quality called Resilience. It’s defined as the ability to move forward by growing through every part of life’s process – Thriving Through Challenge.
Challenge and struggle are natural parts of living – and how we react to them when they appear in our lives can make all the difference in being able to create and manifest the Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic life you deserve to live – your DivaStyle life.
Let’s take a look at some common myths that can get in the way of thriving through challenge and slow down your progress:
Thriving through challenge means you'll never feel sad
This is a common misunderstanding – being able to thrive through challenges doesn’t mean you won’t feel unsure or yourself, or even feel sad that you’re leaving behind what “used to be.” Leaving your normal paradigm can be scary and create doubt and sadness.
Building your DivaStyle life means that you’ve got to look at and analyze what went before – what damage was caused by elements of your life that you just let “happen?” What opportunities have passed you by because you didn’t reach for them?
Women who thrive through challenge don't take breaks
This myth is false because creating and maintaining your DivaStyle life is of the utmost importance – and it’s worth structuring your time to include self-care, because when you’ve got too much going on, self-care is often the first thing to go. Staying consistent while you put in the effort to work through challenges and keep your head up and shoulders back means that you MUST also take care of yourself.
Don’t let your reserves of strength get too low.
You were either born with the ability to thrive through challenges, or you'll never be able to master it
It’s completely possible to strengthen your ability to handle change, and to do it on purpose, with intention. The skill to build your capacity to handle challenges is straightforward and begins with your decision to do so. Decide that you’re no longer afraid of a challenge – especially when you know that your prize is on the other side – and keep your goals in front of you to help motivate you when the going gets tough (because it will).
If you're not thriving through challenges, it means you have a bad / negative / quitter's attitude
Your attitude can slow down your progress, but it’s not the deciding factor in thriving through challenges. Strengthening your ability to thrive no matter what life throws at you has much more to do with taking positive and intentional action and changing a former negative mindset (and the accompanying behaviors).
Thriving through challenges is only beneficial when you're going through difficult times
Let go of this false and damaging belief – the skills you’ll develop as you intentionally thrive through challenges will have a positive impact on all areas of your life. These skills will improve your relationships, boost your enthusiasm, and help you shift into overdrive – regardless of your place on the journey.
If you thrive through challenges,
they cease to BE challenges
Life is certainly not perfect – after all, we human beings are certainly imperfect with all our faults and foibles. Life ebbs and flows, and we can’t control it. Let me say it again – WE CAN’T CONTROL LIFE. Developing the ability to thrive through challenges will be a great benefit in times of grace and times of stress.
Benefits of Strengthening Your Ability to Withstand Challenges
When you decide that you’re going to withstand challenges that come your way, you’ll notice positive changes in your life. Bouncing back from challenges and the emotions they bring with them doesn’t mean that life will be hearts and flowers and return to “normal.”
You may find that your life becomes better as a result of you doing the work to withstand the challenges that come your way, for example:
Your motivation and drive to achieve will increase. You’ll feel more empowered knowing that you didn’t give up and that you made it through. You’ll be able to take more responsibility for your own happiness, which will strengthen your self-confidence and increase your tolerance for taking the risks that come with creating and maintaining a DivaStyle life.
Your leadership and problem-solving abilities will expand, and you’ll be able to admit what you are struggling with / challenged by. Good leaders are able to admit when they need help or extra support. Quite often, making such an admission raises your stock among peers and family members because it humanizes you. Increasing your ability to problem -solve and ask for help when needed is a valuable skill you can use throughout your personal and professional life.
Your level of self-awareness and self-motivation will increase as your ability to analyze and handle challenges increases. Knowing when you have too much on your plate and being able to advocate for taking needed breaks gets easier as you practice the skill of thriving through challenge.
Knowing your strengths and building on your successes also builds your ability to accept and work through what life throws your way. You will have the confidence that things will get better, and you’ll worry less about worst-case-scenarios.
Putting Your “Thriving Through Challenge” Skills into Practice
You might be thinking by now that all these big changes and new habits sound good, but you’re not quite sure how they’re going to “shake out” in your life. Keep in mind that you’ll learn something from every challenge and from every circumstance you encounter. Making it through, around and over the issues will help increase your self-worth and enthusiasm for life.
Something to remember: Let go of self-judgment and self-recrimination and try something new. Step out of your comfort zone and give it a shot – you’ll find that even if it doesn’t work out the first time, you’ll build skills that will help you in the future, and have more of an idea of what will work for you – right where you are now.
To help cement the lessons you learn, consider using a journal at significant (or just plain ordinary) steps in the process. We’ll often put the challenges out of our minds when we’re done with them, but remembering your thought processes and problem-solving skills by writing them down makes it easier to remember what you’ve accomplished.
Using a journal can also be beneficial when there are thoughts swirling around in your head and it’s tough to separate what works from what’s just an idea. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write in a stream-of-consciousness style, writing down whatever comes to mind without editing. It might not make sense immediately but re-reading your entries at a later time will hopefully reveal the keys to the kingdom.
Throughout your journey, you should also consider building an accountability community – asking for accountability from others who are on similar journeys is a great way to remind you of your goals, and to help others reach theirs.
The more your Thriving through Challenge skills increase, the greater your ability to maintain a positive and encouraging outlook regarding your progress toward creating and manifesting your DivaStyle life. Look back at where you were, and recognize the progress you’ve made toward that Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Authentic life you’ve dreamed of and put the work in to achieve.
Part of Thriving through Challenges is facing them head-on – and that can bring up some difficult emotions. Check out the next entry in this extended content series to get more information on how to handle those emotions when it’s published in a couple of days - use the form below this post to make sure you’re part of the DivaStyle Academy family.