“The process of journaling can give you insight and help release the jealousy you feel.”
Dianne M. Daniels
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Have you ever felt jealous of someone else? Consider this scenario: A new person, Dale, has joined your social group and always seems to be so well put-together. Dale wears the best clothes, looks to be in the best physical shape, and has a great job. You find yourself feeling a little annoyed or even irritated with Dale’s appearance at these events.
In fact, lately you don’t even want to attend the get-togethers in your neighborhood because you know Dale’s going to show up. But obviously, this person is here to stay.
How can you overcome this jealousy you feel every time Dale’s in the room?
The process of journaling can provide great insights and lead you to release the jealousy you feel.
Get the most from Journaling about Jealousy
After you get home from an event where Dale was present, get out your journal and write about how you felt while at the event. Be as descriptive as possible.
Record everything you noticed about Dale's appearance
Notice Dale's facial features, clothing, eye and hair color and the like. What do you think are Dale’s best features? Their worst features? Write those down, too.
Journal about your own appearance
Make notes in your journal about yourself and your appearance along the same lines as you did about Dale. Ponder your own best and worst aspects of your appearance.
Note Dale's great characteristics
In your journal, note all the great characteristics Dale demonstrates - be as thorough as possible. Include descriptive language like, “outgoing,” “appears self-confident,” and “very helpful to others.”
Note your positive characteristics
Write down all your positive characteristics in your journal as well. Some of them might even be the same as Dale’s. You’ll also possess characteristics that are unique to you and not found in others.
Consider that you have as much to offer as Dale
Open yourself up to the possibility that you have as much to offer as Dale. As you journal, recognize that even though Dale possesses qualities and characteristics you much admire, you also have many positive qualities. The goal is not so much to compare yourself to Dale as it is to identify your own pluses.
What are you really threatened by?
In your writings, take the time to explore what it is about Dale that you feel threatened by. If there’s something you believe Dale offers that you don’t, what is it? Journal about it. Is that characteristic something you can work toward accomplishing, or does it feel impossible?
- For example, if Dale is in very good physical condition and looks quite fit and you’re not in your best shape, do you want to put out the effort to work for it now? Because if you do, it’s entirely possible that you can improve your physique.
- On the other hand, if Dale is tall, say 5’10” and you’re 5’6”, this is one characteristic about yourself you must accept, and work on ways to celebrate your distinctive features.
- Once you’re able to sum up your own positive qualities, you’ll discover that there are no concrete reasons to see Dale as threatening or “better” than you.
Resolve the challenging issues you're experiencing
The goal in journaling is resolving challenging issues you’re experiencing. As you engage in the process, you’ll notice yourself feeling more comfortable with Dale and Dale’s assets. You’ll most likely realize that everyone has his good points and also possesses characteristics that could be improved upon.
Jealousy is a common feeling
Everyone feels jealous at some point. However, you do have the power to resolve your jealousy. Develop your individualized plan for how you’ll overcome the jealousy you feel at your next opportunity. You could include statements like, “Make it a point to sit beside Dale during dinner to find about more about them” or “Ask Dale where they gets their haircuts.”
Let go of your jealous feelings
Allow yourself to let go of your jealous feelings. Now that you’ve completed the journaling process, you’ll be ready to release those uncomfortable emotions.
Although feeling jealousy is normal, it can be quite overwhelming to experience such feelings over a period of time. Overcome your jealousy by using journaling. You’ll gain insight into your jealous feelings and figure out how to leave those challenging emotions behind you.